I know that all money is absolutly dirtier than anything else– but sometimes when you see people being extra dirty and they give you the money– it really makes you queasy. Here are my super dirty money examples…
The Vault- Why do “large” women insist on keeping their money in their bras?? I have had so many women stick their arm down their shirt and search their under boob for their cash. You know- purses were known to have existed as far back as Egyptian hieroglyphics. I don’t care how much you don’t feel like carrying around a small purse, did you ever stop to think that I don’t appreciate touching something that just accumulated 4 hours of breast sweat? What if you are lactating.. ew. How can anybody think that it is acceptable to do this?? I hope you catch some really itchy smelly skin rash because you insist on keeping the money in your personal vault.
Fuzzy Coins- I have always been a believer that if you are cashing in your nickels and pennys with me then you need to give up and go home. I really hate when you get some ass that jams his hand in his pocket and grabs all the shit he can and then hands it to you demanding dollars… I will make a point to give them back their fuzz, hair, and trash. I know all money is dirty but when their is curly hair in it… please- I don’t want your pubes.
Handling money while eating- This grosses me out the most. I get a lot of guests eating on the casino floor and licking their fingers, touching the bet buttons, getting ranch and spit on their tickets or cash… I wish I could get my hands on those blue light germ thing, I would go up to guests and congratulate them with spreading their disease. I don’t know if I could actually stomach knowing how nasty the place really is because when I go on break I wash my hands at least 3 times and the shit that comes off… I think beside chicken wings, my least favorite thing that guest eat while gambling are chips. Cheetos, doritos, well really anything that will make you want to lick your fingers.. because hello- you lick your fingers, touch the machine, or hand me money.. why would I want to put myself in direct contact with your mouth? For all I know you just make 30 dollars suckin off some guy because you lost all your money already..
Long story short. Wash your hands, use a purse or wallet, and check the handful of coins you are going to give me to make sure it is clear of your crabs… Fuckers
